Liquid Life: If It's Magic

4:37 PM

I have heard various approaches to life. 
It's something to be seized, they say, a fiery chariot you must hold the reigns onto. Control is totally yours, and fate is an excuse. Make things happen.
But- it's something to be breathed in, they say, an endless rainfall of sliding memory. It drips down your soul with eyes closed. Let things happen.
So, what? Is the world to my conquering, or am I simply floating through liquid life in this cosmic pool?

My church made us go on a Confirmation retreat-a 3 hour trek into the mountains, to "pursue a clear, spiritual head". For an entire weekend. On a normal week that would have been a dream, but on the weekend before an Algebra 2 test, it was dreaded. 

But, in the end, it was the first night of my life. The first night in which I could look up, and see a sky full of lucky stars. So many that I couldn't count them. I didn't have to look twice and verify it wasn't a satellite or helicopter- they were there. The first night seeing snow.  I now know the raw feeling of falling into the ice (not gloved) hands first, the hot pricks of pain stinging it red. At the talent show later that night, it was still the first. I learned that you can make a light-stick by shining a flashlight under a water bottle. 

The most beautiful moment in life.

The bus back home was making it's way down the mountains. The snow-capped mountains, the houses dotting them, the green land below, the city outline graying in the distance. Morning sun streamed the windows and warmed each half- asleep face. It was completely quiet, only the breaths of the tired intermingling with the lullaby song our driver chose. Harps accompanied the comforting voice of Stevie Wonder. And it all washed over me, like water. I couldn't hold onto it. Eventually we would reach flat, cemented land; and it would be gone. It was more breathless than a first kiss, and my heart beat faster than if it were. I was alone, but we were all alone. Together. I have never felt more peaceful. Even when the end came, it was okay. Sometimes you just need to let things happen.

images by Eliza Dumag

"Liquid Life" is a series of short personal vignettes highlighting the possibilities of tackling existence.

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